15 Things He Means When He Says He Needs Space

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I decided to go to his house one night after drinking and continued drinking with him. But if not, there's something better in store for you. I respect you enough to be patient and to honor your decision about our love.

When ever he feels threatened he is very sensitive he pushes away, Big time. I believe all your problems started when you lost your identity.

Why Men Need Space In A Relationship And How To Give Him Space When He Asks For It

I met one of my girlfriends for brunch this weekend at a fancy pantsy spot in Beverly Hills where if you sneeze, the whole restaurant looks over and gasps in amazement that a sneezing mortal is among them. We were having a great time catching up, but I could tell something was off. When I asked her if everything was alright, the conversation went from laughing and weirdly fake-happy, to mego get 10 extra napkins, take her to the bathroom and hug her in a bathroom stall for 15 minutes while she cried her eyes out. She had been when a man says he needs space out for way too long, bottling in her feelings and finally, the cap flew off. So, he said that he needs space. I felt like I was listening to my former self and it was painful to see all of that confusion, hurt, and those feelings of physical and emotional paralysis in someone that I love and care about so much. So, to save your own face and hopefully secure your position as the future Mrs. So, what does it mean when he says that he needs space and what should you really do. I made a promise to myself after that I was going to have my own back. I also made a promise to myself to. I refused to be on my deathbed one day and wish that I would when a man says he needs space known the capabilities, the power and the strength that I had when I was younger. My history, pain, humiliation, embarrassment and insecurities have told me and allowed me to understand today that when when he says that he needs space, listen. As hard as it is, you need to focused solely on how he is acting. Stop being understanding at the expense of your self worth and being a professional, people pleasing doormat. Give him the space he wants and take that very literally. If when a man says he needs space acted crazy and he needs space as a result, do yourself and him a favor — turn inward, focus on you and give the poor man space. Long hair looks gorgeous on you but I really like the shorter length too. I love your blog as I am finally seeing sense in my own behaviour and am when a man says he needs space out that I may have screwed things up for good. Thanks for your love, for reading and for your understanding. The link to it is on the homepage. Im so over men useing me as a fuck tart, i just cant be botherd anymore and that just pisses and makes me more upset, men are dogs and i just really dont think i have time for them anymore… Hi I have recently dated a guy who has liked me since 2009 we finally got together and have been talking every day for the past few months. We had a great first date where he told me he could get used to spending a lot of time with me. Then he decided things were moving to fast and wanted to slow it down which I agreed so we continued talking every day and slowly it picked back up again where we admitted feelings and he said I was the only woman he would consider when a man says he needs space. Anyway last weekend he invited me over to watch a film and he cooked dinner, it was lovely and relaxed and it felt so right, we ended up spending the night together and the sex was amazing, we spent the day in bed again great sex, I spent the evening and he cooked dinner again and I stayed another night. So my gut was telling me something was off so I called him on it and I said something has changed. Even if it was in my head but completely believe I was right he had suddenly changed and become disrespectful. We see each other Tuesday and have an amazing time. I am out of town for work this week, hopefully we can connect when I get home. And this is a major life issue: do our future goals line up. And he needs to think about it…. And back story: this is a hyper intellectual over thinker male- with extreme over achiever attitude so he over analyzes everything. Even something as simple as what brand of socks to buy…. So I believe this is a hard mind provoking question for him and all his actions before This were of total 100% love. But in sure every girl says that- he thought I was attractive and we exchanged numbers. He came onto me really strong, would call me, text me. I texted him last Friday asking if he was okay and where he has been. Everything was doing well with us. But last week all of a sudden, he asked for space. I overreacted and cried a lot. He told me im the mos amazing girl ever and nobody even compares to me. He said that he really loves me but ldr is just too hard for him. And there, i gave him his much needed space. Thanks for this blog, i learned to just give him space freely and to focus on myself first. You will have to be my family for now as I feeling so alone. Well he has all the space he wants now. I have once again focused on me, upped my nutrition and fitness. Not sure how tomorrow might go. I will deal with it when I get there. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have been dating a guy for a month and then completely screwed it up. He was hurt, broken, numb and every other bad feeling from my words than cut him to the core and basically I questioned his walk with God, duty as a man, ect. I wish I could take it back, but we all know words are extremely powerful and sometimes they are too bad to forgive and want to still stay with someone. Heck, I would run if the situation were reversed. I turned to Google and came across your blog. Hi I have been married for 5 years my husband and I have a 4 year old daughter and both work full time. We bought our first house 4 months ago. We have been going to church and bible study. He went out of town with work for less than 2 days and came back distant no affection and texting his female co worker all the time and talking about her all the time. She is separated from her abusive husband and they have 3 young children together. She is 28 and i am about to turn 38. A text that I sent to a friend telling her that he has been distant and has been texting this coworker alot. I asked her if I could talk to her fiance and see what his thought was on the two because he works with them. It got back to my husband that I was tripping and thought he was cheating with her. His bosses heard about it and now they are under investigation for fratinization. He seemed to start to forgive me started being playful again and things started to feel better. It turns out his co workers reported him because he was calling her babe at work. Tuesday night I decided to turn to him in bed and say I love you. He said I know you do and that crushed me. That morning I asked if we talk sometime and he said talk about what. I said us and said what about us. He said all this in a happy tone. Anyway plan was we were going to talk when our daughter went to bed that night. When I came home he was cold and upset all over again I had no idea why so I asked if he was ok and he said no and said it was because of me. We went downstairs to talk and he said he needs space he wants my daughter and I to stay at my moms for 7 days. If I didnt do it he would make a rash decision and divorce me. I would also need more details. This is why I cannot give direct advice in the comments section. Thank you for your love, for reading, and for your understanding. Other readers are here to support you and I do offer one-on-one coaching if you are interested. Link to it is on the home page. By just giving him ample space can I still hold my head high. Will things be okay if I just give him lots of space. I wish that I could help, but I have too much to say to type it all out and not enough hands to type or hours in the day. I also do not know the details. This is why I cannot give specific advice in the comments. Thanks for the love, for reading and for your understanding. Natasha, your blog is my bible these days. Thank you from the deepest ends of my soul. My heart has never hurt so much, but luckily i found your blog along the way. You and this tribe are helping me heal and find my own again. This post especially was so necessary. This article really hit home for me right now. The connection we have was so real and intense right off the bat that we allowed it to become more serious than I think either of us were ready for. He cried while telling me he thought we should take some time. Should I wait and ask to get together later or should I make the mutual plan with him so I know we are both thinking about it. I wish that I could advise and answer your questions, but I have too much to say to type it all out not enough hands to type or hours in the day. Keep coming back here to the blog. It was almost like I took it too seriously and I was scared. Another part of me wanted to make sure being with him was what I truly wanted before we both invested further; I suppose these two aspects go hand-in-hand. He said that he needs time to be on his own to think about what he wants and needs. Does this translate into a break up, a freak out moment. Thank you for your support, for reading, and for your understanding. I deleted his ass on social media but still had all this anxiety because of what he may think of me… foolishness. My guy said he was stressed and needed to get his head straight he admittedly has a shit ton going on. His divorced is being finalized and his whole life is changing and that he was sorry for being distant. He never specifically asked for space but he stopped responding to messages. We had blended our families and met each others parents. I was really upset and probably overreacted. So I took a breath and wrote him one last message and told him that i loved him and that I wanted to support his need for space as long as I am able. My kids, and his, deserve more than that. If he is the man I believe him to be, he will break the silence. In the mean time, I am focused on me and healing. By then, I will have given my heart time to heal and my head time to process. So question… my bf was incredible and loving … a little selfish and self absorbed yes lol… but he showed me he loved me everyday. I have inherent trust issues… and I compete in bikini competitions… I was on a death diet pretty much lol and my coach put me on some hormone therapy my first time ever …… needless to say I turned into a nutcase. But I took a bad situation and made it 100xs worse. I went insane and drove him nuts… for almost a month not proud… for the record I stopped taking all therapies lol. When he got back we would figure things out. Thank you so much for sharing. I wish that I could elaborate further, advise and answer your questions, but I have too much to say to type it all out not enough hands to type or hours in the day. All my love to you soul sister. It seems to me that saying I just want time away from you right now is a crappy thing to do to someone you supposedly care about, and then cutting them off, leaving them to wonder for days on end is just cruel. It seems like the worst thing you can do to someone you supposedly love. I wish that I could elaborate further and answer your questions, but I have too much to say to type it all out not enough hands to type or hours in the day. This is why I cannot give advice in the comments section. Hi Natasha, Thank you so much for your article. Prior to this my boyfriend and I had a great relationship. We were very happy emotionally, mentally, sexually. A week ago an argument which rarely happenscaused by me, spurred the whole break situation we are in currently. The topic of the argument is irrelevant. I know my boyfriend has many stresses in his life currently related to financial responsibilities and children. He said he loves me and nothing could change his feelings for me, this is not my fault, and this is not a break up. I feel like I took it well, let him know that it made me sad and upset, but I would respect his request. I had to play cool after starting an argument even though I was dying inside. When would it be ok to contact him. Is he avoiding an actual break up. Is he waiting for me to contact him even though I said otherwise. This is why I cannot give any advice in the comments section. Thanks for your love, support, for reading and for your understanding. A week ago my bf of two years called to me from a party, completely drunk, and told me that he needed a break. We had our traditions and a very specific, personal kind of humour — as I said, a perfect relationship. We continued messaging for the whole week after his call to see how it would go but I could feel he was more distanced then before. We met this weekend to talk it all throught. He kept on telling me how sorry he was, how he still loves me and believes we still have a mutual future ahead of us. He also kept on calling me pet names and was generally affectionate — he would stroke my hair or leg while we talk, kiss my head and so on. I deleted all of our pictures from my phone, all the songs he has sent me in the past, everything that was at lest a little bit connected to him. I think I may have gotten a bit overemotional back there, crying and shouting. It was devastating for both of us. I cried myself to sleep and he kept on hugging me. He had to go the next morning. He gave me a kiss on the forehead and headed towards his train. Made me feel better and less alone. I jus told him how I felt about our relationship because it means alot to me…. I totally agree with everything you said in this blog post. However, I could use a little reassurance or advice. Someone whom I was seeing for 4 months told me he needed space to think of how he felt about me and what he wants because he feels confused and emotional. I would also need more details surrounding this. I feel space is usually a time a man wants to venture away from the relationship. I should be more secure with myself. Absolutely, but unfortunately im not. I basically turned the situation into an uncomfortable one, its awkward and uneasy the last few days we have talked. I decided on my own after i make him take back the space comment i will give him the space he need by staying busy, keeping conversations short, and not bugging him. Its a tough thing giving someone space that you just want to love endlessly. Oddly he has been still reaching out to me first, but i am trying to keep the conversation lite and moving on to busy things in my life which are happening since i graduate in 10 days. I was just about to give in and text him a needy response until i read this blog that saved me. I instantly deleted the characters in my message box. I am so glad i read this page it is empowering to see how often this happens and how this can help me continue on my space journey. Its a rough path, but im worth the trouble. I need to remember my worth, remember who i am, because i feel ive lost her. Thank you a million times over for using your experiences to share with and help all the rest of us. Just knowing that other people have been through this before is huge. I have just stumbled across this at a time when I needed it. I had a big blow up with my boyfriend a few days ago, acted crazy he definitely pushed my buttons, too and now he is taking space and has said that we will have a conversation but needs a few days to get his thoughts together.

However I have a question for you. I even asked to be best friends but then he replied he needed some time. Thank you a million times over for using your experiences to share with and help all the rest of us. Maybe your boyfriend has just changed his life in a totally crazy way. You should probably discuss how long this break should be and what rules there are. That's all on him and it's not your job to be anything other than his girlfriend. You aren't going to beg or plead. He still wants to live, to breathe, and to ultimately continue to have new experiences without emotional restraints. Guys are pretty honest and they don't like to mince words. Before we met I was happy and content being single and knew what I wanted in a relationship after being married and dating.